Jason Todd hated his job. Oh, don't mistake this with his night job, he adored beating criminals senseless and traumatize whatever foul scum there was in the world. The job he hated was his day job. You wonder why he has a day job when he has most of the drug dealing scums of the underworld giving him forty percent of their profits every week?
That money was used solely to fund his nightly activities. Given how expensive his toys were that left scraps for him to live off. Which brings us back to his day job. With his choice of lifestyle, a long-term serious job would hinder his operations. He needed a job with flexible hours and the freedom to leave when time came to push.
“Excuse me?” Someone tapped him from behind.
He resisted a sigh and turned around. “Welcome to Staples, how can I help you?”
Much to his surprise it was Bruce’s youngest with a bewildered look on his face.
“What do you want kid? Come to laugh at my day job?” He said with deadpanned face.
“… Um… just wondering why you’re here?” Terry asked sheepishly.
“Bills need to be paid. Now what do you want?” Jason grumbled in annoyance.
Terry blinked slowly as if he was still surprised. “I thought you’re a deviant, shouldn’t you have more creative ways to get money?”
“Look kid, I’m only human, even I need rest. This is the least strenuous job that won’t tire me out by the time night comes.” Jason grumbled. “Now buy something or scram.”
The younger man was silent as he walked off to one of the isles and Jason resumed taking inventory of their supplies. Not ten minutes later he felt a tap on his shoulder and he turned to face the smiling Terry with an armful of supplies.
“Ring me up?” He asked cheerily.
“There’s already a cashier up front.” Jason said bluntly.
“But I wanna chat with you.” He chirped back.
Jason sighed in exasperation. It looked like the kid wasn’t going to leave him alone until he humored him. “Fine.” He muttered and led the other towards the front where his coworker was chatting on her cell. She glanced at him for a second, but he waved to her that he got this and went behind the counter.
“You do know you’re wasting your time here.” Terry commented as he dropped his notebooks, pens and other supplies onto the counter.
“Bite me.” Jason grumbled and scanned the items.
“You’re not resting by working in mindless tasks. You’re just giving yourself more work to sit through this. For example you could be a plumber, or a locksmith or even a delivery guy.” Terry said as he toyed with the mini-pens stocked next to the cash register.
“And how are they any different than this job? It’s still mindless work.” Jason glared at the lead refills when they didn’t scan.
“Well… think of it this way. With those jobs even the most secured military nuclear base would let you in. You could be a badass secret spy! How cool is that?” Terry laughed.
Jason knew the last bit was to throw off his coworker’s attention to it being something silly rather something serious, but he did think about it as he manually typed in the price for the refills.
“Annnnnd.” Terry drawled excitedly, but the look in his eyes was serious. “You don’t have to stay in one place all the time, you could move, you can travel.”
“$34.59.” Jason replied as he set the bag in front of him with receipt at hand.
Terry paid and picked up his bag with another look in his eyes. “Think about it Jay, you could be doing something more interesting.”
Once he was gone, Jason turned to his coworker and signaled he was going on his break. What the kid said lingered in his head. He was surprised that he didn’t laugh at how mundane his work was; instead he even gave a few good suggestions. Why stop at something like this? When other jobs could be used to help the night? He’d be more restful without needing to scout and stalk as much during the night. He could use this to his advantage.
Ideas began to flow into his mind as an evil grin crossed his face. He could go to suspected houses and break their pipes or locks. Then they’ll call him in the morning and he could easily go in and investigate. It was such genius it was criminal! Well… it would be criminal, but at least it’d be more interesting than seven-fifty an hour in a boring place like Staples… and less embarrassing if any of the family managed to stumble across him while he worked… It was a good thing that the kid found it a waste of time rather than laugh at how embarrassing it is to work here.
He quit the day after he found work with a plumbing company. It wasn’t as pleasant as he originally thought. He was in arms deep sewage and smelled of other people’s shit for three weeks. Even he had a limit of how much shit he could handle. When he found another job, he was a locksmith.
Instead of foul smells, he dealt with dumbasses. Half the houses he attended to were dumb crooks that thought they could find an easy way into someone’s house by calling a locksmith. A quick question for their license and they were halfway down the block running. The effort to catch them was nonexistent. He lasted two weeks before he found the need for a job change. His sanity slipped away with each idiot he encountered.
The next profession was in AAA, he finished the training in weeks compared to the six months that was required. How could he not? Working with the bat-mobile and jacking cars in his youth was more than enough to qualify him for these menial jobs. He thought there might be a moment of peace, but luck wasn’t on his side. Car thieves, pill poppers and an occasional dead body, joy—not. He only found the urge to plant car bombs under these cars and let them go off in a distance. Of course, he resisted, the kid would give him hell if he killed again. Instead he rigged the gas intake to take in air when it was refueling gas.
Not even two months into the job, he found himself kidnapped. Him! The freaking Red Hood of Gotham! Kidnapped! By Mr. Freeze of all people. Apparently, the man needed him to help build him a freezer truck for whatever nefarious deeds he planned. What were the chances?
For the first time he had a blast as he rigged the freezer truck to do the exact opposite. By the time he was done with it, it would be an oven… at least that was what he planned before the new Batgirl crashed into the party and got her skinny little ass caught and held hostage. He had no choice but slip away and suit up to save her. Luckily he has his gear with him at all times even in the dead heat of summer, but he supposed it was moot point when the villain was ice based.
o.o.o.o.o
Stephanie Brown had the worse off day of her life. First she broke a nail in the morning, then she was late for work and now she was Mr. Freeze’s hostage. To make things worse, her connection to Oracle was severed and she had no means of backup or a way to get out. The man made certain to encase her in ice to prevent her from moving. Fortunately, the suit is well insulated and she won’t suffer from any frostbite, but even so, she was not sure how she was getting out of this mess.
“Stop hoping, no one is coming to save you. If they haven’t come now, they won’t come ever. This operation is highly secured.” Mr. Freeze droned.
She glared at him without a word. How was she getting out of this? Her answer came when the door blew open and the Red Hood entered with a gas tank on his back and a torch in hand.
“Helllllo Mr. Freeze.” He grinned sadistically. “Say hello to Mr. Torch!”
Stephanie stared in disbelief as he wielded the torch left and right like a madman while still slipping in punches and kicks and gas bombs. How did he know they were there? Why was he helping her? Her questions were unanswered as he hurriedly slapped rocket boosters onto the man’s chest and blasted Freeze out of the room and cracked his glass helmet. The fight lasted no more than a few minutes before he came back.
Tim told her many stories about the man, she was wary of him, especially with a blowtorch in hand. Yet, he took the utmost care to torch her ice prison and get her out if only somewhat soaked.
“Can you walk?” He asked as he chucked the torch and gas tank aside.
She shivered. “In an hour or so.”
“The police will be here in thirty.” He said bluntly as he hauled her up and shot a line through the glass roof.
She didn’t get a chance to protest as he carried her off a good few rooftops away. By the time he set her down, she could barely stand. “Uh… Thanks…?”
“Thanks won’t cut it girly, you owe me.” He replied with his hands at his hips.
She grinned slightly at that, how typical of a guy to ask for a reward. “All right then.” She said as she leaned forward and pecked him on the lips. His eyes widened. Obviously, he hadn’t expected that.
He regained composure a moment later and covered his embarrassment with a cough. “That won’t cover it. You still owe me.”
“All right, call me up when you want me to return the favor.” She chirped happily.
“You can get on alone right?” He asked. After she gave her nod, he left without a word.
“…He’s not so bad.” Stephanie murmured with a finger to her cheek.
o.o.o.o.o
Jason wasn’t sure if blonde would tell the family about him, but he rather not have them bother him about helping her. He could just say the girl was delusional. He was sick of his job by the time morning came. It was time for another change. He search through ads for his next job when a call from the kid came.
“Hey Jay, you won’t believe what I just found out!” Terry sounded like an excited little kid on Christmas morning. “The current Robin’s kryptonite is pizza! PIZZA! Can you believe that?”
“…Pizza?” Jason repeated dumbly in disbelief, but then a smile crossed his face.
“I trust you won’t let that info get to criminal hands.” He tone was serious almost like Bruce, but he could still hear the mirth in his voice.
“Oh I wouldn’t dream of letting any rogue get their hands on that. Is that all kid?” He kept the sly tone from his voice. He found his new job.
Once Terry hung up he immediately looked up pizza places to call up. A pizza delivery boy may have its quirks. He stalked the family for days to measure out their schedules before going up to the manor with pizza in hand. He really wanted to see first hand if the brat would hurl from the smell alone. With Alfred in the kitchen and the brat wandering about he was sure the brat would answer the door.
“Hey brat, I heard you love pizza.” Jason drawled with amusement when the brat came to the door.
A hand quickly shot up to the boy’s mouth as he backed away with a sickened look on his face. It took no more than a minute for him to dart away from him and towards the closest bathroom.
Jason laughed heartily as he closed the box and leaned against the door for support. “I guess the kid was right. His kryptonite really is pizza.”
Despite the boundless humor pizza brought him, he soon found the delivery business dull. The next job, a taxi driver and would you believe it that this was probably the most fun he had since he started job-hopping. He just has to get his client from point A to point B quickly and not get into any accidents while doing so.
All in all, he might’ve terrified some to never ride taxi ever again, but for him it was a freedom. He could choose his clientele, he could choose how fast or slow to drive, he could make the ride pleasant or hell. And with Gotham’s rep, there was always someone who needed to flee from a killer gang or something of the sort.
“Quick drive!” A man scrambled into the back of his car.
“Where to boss?” He said lazily as he glanced at the rear mirror.
“Anywhere! Just drive!” The man ordered, he was sweating bullets and he looked mighty shady.
“You sure now?” Jason grinned.
“YES! DRIVE!” He begged.
“Whatever you say.” He said as he drove off. Little did the man know, Jason would interrogate him until he begged for mercy. God, he loved his job.
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